This past summer, my daughter Sue talked me into chaperoning her fifth grade class field trip to the local zoo. I should have inquired a lot more about the trip. I thought we’d be taking a charter bus with comfortable seats, television screens, a bathroom and air conditioning. But no, we boarded an ancient school bus without seatbelts and bad shocks. At eight o’clock in the morning, the outside temperature was already 83 degrees with excessive humidity and no breeze whatsoever. For safety reasons, the small windows on the bus only opened barely two inches and provides no relief. The bus did not possess air conditioning or even a fan, and the drive lasted nearly two hours. When we arrived, I was soaked in sweat with a headache and upset belly. Touring the zoo was somehow worse than the bus ride. There was very little shade and very few indoor, air conditioned exhibits. I encouraged my group to spend all the time they could in the gift shop and reptile house. These spaces were mercifully air conditioned, cool, and such a big relief from the heat and horrible smells. On the return trip on the death trap of a bus, two kids became sick and vomited. It was a nightmare. When I finally arrived home, I lowered the thermostat setting, poured myself a giant glass of lemonade and stood directly in front of the air conditioner vent. I will not volunteer for another school trip unless I learn more about our mode of transportation and destination.